Another parking rant: screw you, old people!

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 03/26/2014 at 15:59 • Filed to: None

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Today's earlier post about !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! got me to thinking: I have another preferential parking setup that pisses me off even more. "Reserved for Senior Citizens" parking. Here in Madison, WI it mostly is at grocery stores. You have the typical handicap spaces, but the most prime non-handicap spaces all have stupid Seniors Only signs on them. I'll be driving thru a parking lot, get past the handicap spaces, see a bunch of nice open spots, then DAMMIT IT'S A SENIOR CITIZEN SPACE.

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These signs piss me off, because at any of these stores I've NEVER seen the handicapped parking spaces filled up. If you're old and frail and need to park right by the front of the store, you can get a handicapped parking permit with a quick doctor's note. It's easy.

But instead, you have a bunch of old people who for whatever reason don't get themselves handicap parking permits, so to keep the old farts happy the grocery stores have old fart parking next to the handicap parking.

Who are these old people? For one, my 90 year-old grandma who lives in Chicago and thanks to rheumatoid arthritis and bunions older than I am, can't walk for shit. She shuffles along at a snail's pace, constantly grasping for anything to hold on to—because using a cane would be admitting defeat— needs help crossing the street, and blames her inability to walk on some combination of the wind, the ground being uneven, or my legs being longer than hers.

Whenever I drive her someplace, typically in downtown Chicago, I have to drop her off by the door of where we're going, have her hang out waiting for me while I park in outer Mongolia after driving past 30 perfectly empty handicap spaces, and hoof it back to her.

Her responses when I or any other family member suggest handicap parking are:

A) "I'm not handicapped."

B) "I read in the Chicago Tribune that if you use someone else's handicap parking permit, even while driving the permit-holder around, you can get a ticket."

Does she get one? Of course not! Because she doesn't want to admit anything's wrong with her and she would have to give actual medical reasons (like say, rheumatoid arthritis and 30 year-old bunions) on the form to get the permit.

If only her and all the other old people who can't walk for shit would just go get handicap parking permits, we could escape from the scourge of seniors-only parking spaces!

thebigbossyboss > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:10

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On the subject of old people...

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rant-get-da-fr…

HammerheadFistpunch > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:11

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and whats the deal with expectant mother parking outside babies r us? amiright?

crowmolly > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:15

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I don't think it's a scourge at all. This way you KNOW where there's higher probability of people banging your doors and scraping your quarter panels.

That part aside, it's got to be tough getting old because you have to admit you can't do some basic tasks that well anymore. Kudos to you for helping out your grandma and helping her keep some pride. I did the same for my grandmother years ago and it was pretty tough at times- "I don't want a cane. That's for OLD people!"... She was 97 at that time.

A disgraceful number of old people are forgotten or left alone by their families and have to drive themselves to supermarkets and pharmacies even if they are mostly pretty "able". At a supermarket you'll have heavy bags and/or a cart to deal with and that can be tough for them.

I dunno. I can see how it could piss some people off but I feel bad for the older people that have to struggle.

CRider > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:18

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FYI, the store cant do shit if you park there. That's not a legally protected space like a handicap spot is. A store near me has signs that say "Reserved parking for parents with children". There's nothing the cops can do, and there's no way to prove a elderly person isn't driving your car anyway.

Textured Soy Protein > crowmolly 03/26/2014 at 16:20

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Oh yeah I mean I definitely feel for old folks and not being able to do simple tasks anymore. That's why I drive my grandma around when I visit Chicago, even if she's a stubborn pain in the ass about it.

The old people parking irritates me because there's already a reserved parking area they could use if only they'd go to the trouble of getting the permit.

crowmolly > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:22

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Yeah, I'm not sure what gets you the handi-pass these days. Certainly seems like that's a better way for the elderly to get around in many more places.

Textured Soy Protein > CRider 03/26/2014 at 16:22

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While there's no real legal protection of the space, what's to stop a store employee who sees an obviously-not-old person get out of a car parked in an old folks space from calling a towing company?

crowmolly > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 16:24

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Or somebody putting their just-bought eggs to good use?

Textured Soy Protein > crowmolly 03/26/2014 at 16:33

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Just going by my grandma, the Illinois DMV says you need to have your doctor certify that you have one of six specific conditions that limit your ability to walk. They are:

1. Can't walk without the assistance of another person, prosthetic device, wheelchair or other assistive device.

2. Have lung disease where your lung capacity measures below a certain threshold.

3. Use portable oxygen.

4. Have a Class 3 or 4 cardiac condition.

5. Limited mobility due to arthritic, neurological or orthopedic condition.

6. Has permanently lost the use of or is missing a hand or arm (why they don't mention legs I don't know, but I suppose that's covered by reason #1).

All my grandma would need to do is have her doctor fill out the form and choose reason #5, and bam, handicap parking permit.

CRider > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 17:28

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If a store is paying somebody to watch old person parking spaces, they're wasting money. And getting a car towed takes longer than most shopping trips, so they'd likely have left before it gets there.

CRider > crowmolly 03/26/2014 at 17:29

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Nothing like good old fashion vigilante vandalism.

desertdog5051 > Textured Soy Protein 03/26/2014 at 17:42

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As my 87 year old neighbor says, "Getting old ain't for sissies". Someday you will be there as we all will.

Textured Soy Protein > desertdog5051 03/26/2014 at 17:44

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Hopefully I live that long, and if I do you can be damn sure I'll have a handicap permit as soon as I become decrepit enough to qualify for one.

captain_spleen > Textured Soy Protein 03/27/2014 at 03:01

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" If you're old and frail and need to park right by the front of the store, you can get a handicapped parking permit with a quick doctor's note. It's easy."

It's not that easy, at least not if you and your doctor are honest. I'd love my parents to have a handicapped tag, but apparently they don't qualify, despite my mom being 80 and having back and hip pain, and my father being 83 and having parkinsons that messes up his gait and balance and makes it hard to walk.

It's pretty much irrelevant now, as my mom doesn't drive and my father's been told to stop driving. But the last few years they could have really used a handicapped tag or senior citizen parking.

Textured Soy Protein > captain_spleen 03/27/2014 at 10:56

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Not sure how it is where you are. Since my grandma's in Chicago, the Illinois DMV says you need to have your doctor certify that you have one of six specific conditions that limit your ability to walk. They are:

1. Can't walk without the assistance of another person, prosthetic device, wheelchair or other assistive device.

2. Have lung disease where your lung capacity measures below a certain threshold.

3. Use portable oxygen.

4. Have a Class 3 or 4 cardiac condition.

5. Limited mobility due to arthritic, neurological or orthopedic condition.

6. Has permanently lost the use of or is missing a hand or arm (why they don't mention legs I don't know, but I suppose that's covered by reason #1).

My grandma has rheumatoid arthritis, and gigantic bunions on both feet, so she's double qualified for #5. Your state's rules may vary, but I bet there's a way to both be honest and get them a permit if they weren't already pretty much giving up driving anyway.

captain_spleen > Textured Soy Protein 03/27/2014 at 18:48

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I'm in Connecticut. It's pretty much the same, but #5 is "due to severe arthritic, etc."

It's entirely possibly my mom never actually asked the doctor, out of pride, and told me a fib.